Fall To Pieces
by Sheyna-osirissystemlady
Summary: SJ. Sam sat by Jack's bedside after Lost City.


**Fall To Pieces**

**Chapter 1**

****

**Spoilers – **Lost City (Part 1), Lost City (Part 2).

**Rating – **Pg

**Season – **End of Season 7

**Pairings – **Sam and Jack. (Duh)!

**Disclaimer – **I do not own Stargate SG-1 or the song (Fall to Pieces) by Avril lavigne.

**Author's Note – **I just bought the new Avril Lavigne album (totally amazing). For the past few weeks I haven't been able to make connections with songs and Stargate. I have a teeny tiny confession to make. The first connection I made with this song was connecting the chorus to my non-existent love life. I like this Sixth Former (Upper Sixth). I more than like him, and I'd ask him out, but there are a few little problems. First of all he's Head Boy, and why would the Head Boy date a geek? Second he's Year 13, I'm Year 11. I'm just likkle 16 year old to him. So anyway, I can't say this to him, but this fic has a double meaning to get my feelings out. Just to say to him "Thanks for looking after me on the history trip." Everyone else. Enjoy:

She sat by his bed. Rescued. Cut from the ice. They'd finally got him out and the Asguard had agreed to help, but there hadn't been much they could do for him. The little they had done didn't have much of a chance of working. He could still die.

She hadn't left his bedside. Janet, Daniel and Teal'c had brought her food. Janet had brought her a CD walkman and Daniel had brought her a whole stack of CDs to listen to.

_"I looked away._

_Then I looked back at you."_

Sam turned her head. He was a vegetable. She couldn't bare to see him. But she had to. As much as she didn't want these to be last memories of him, she could let him die without her there staring at him, lovingly.

_"You tried to say,_

_Things that you can't undo."_

He had apologised when they had gotten back to the SGC, but she couldn't bring herself to forgive him. She had put on a brave face when he apologised, but he didn't believe her for a second. They'd both wished inside that it had never happened, but it had. And there was nothing either of them could do about it."

_"If I had my way,_

_I'd never get over you."_

She had wanted to quit the SGC, but Hammond and Weir hadn't let her. "You need to accept what's happened Major." "She'll get over it." "She has Pete. She must have moved on."

But it wasn't true. She didn't have Pete. She had broken it off the night before she went over to Jack's. Before they went on the mission. It hadn't been fair to Pete. She didn't love him.

_"Today's the day,_

_I pray that we make it through."_

The Asguard had given Jack ten to fifteen days to recover. If he didn't recover on the fifteenth day, he would be dead anyway. She sat by his bedside listening to that song. It was the fifteenth day.

_"Make it through the fall,_

_Make it through it all."_

Day fifteen. Last day. If he woke up today he'd live. If he didn't he was dead. A vegetable. Switched off.

_"I don't want to fall to pieces._

_I just want to sit and stare at you."_

Carter willed herself not to cry. Willed herself to breakdown. She just wanted to be there for him. Be there if he woke up. She couldn't bring herself to think that he wouldn't.

_"I don't want to talk about it._

_I don't want a conversation."_

They'd all come in. She'd been sure all of the SGC had been in the infirmary. Asking her if she wanted to talk. "No." Asking her if she wanted to confide in anyone. "No." Telling her they'd all be there if she wanted to talk.

_"I just want to cry in front of you._

_I don't want to talk about it."_

She only wanted Jack to be with her. But Jack couldn't even hear her. She was content with just crying over him. She didn't need to talk.

_"'Cause I'm in love with you."_

She jumped when she heard those lyrics.

_"You're the only one,_

_I'd be with 'till the end."_

Forget Pete. Only Jack. No one else. Even if he didn't make it, it would only be Jack. She couldn't, she wouldn't be with anyone else ever. If he died, she'd be alone 'till the end.

_"When I come undone,_

_You bring me back again."_

When she'd been upset, even about the sillyiest things, he'd been there. Barging into her lab, making her laugh. Fixing everything.

_"Back under the stars,_

_Back into your arms."_

Everything would be difficult and confusing, but he'd be there. He'd make everything alright. He'd make it better again. Ready to go back to the universe. Ready to break down again, for him to fix her.

_"I don't want to fall to pieces._

_I just want to sit and stare at you._

_I don't want to talk about it. _

_I don't want a conversation._

_I just want to cry in front of you._

_I don't want to talk about it._

_'Cause I'm in love with you."_

She cried. The tears flowed. The fifteenth day went on.

_"Want to know who you are._

_Want to know where to start."_

She'd known him for seven years. They'd been through so much together, but she didn't know him at all. He was like that. A mystery. A puzzle that she couldn't begin to comprehend.

_"I want to know what this means._

_Want to know how to feel."_

Sure she'd been the smart one. But she didn't understand him. She knew almost nothing about him. She **knew **he was her CO. She **knew** he was her friend. But she didn't know much else. She didn't know how to feel about him. Okay so that was wrong. She knew how to feel. Just not how to show him.

_"Want to know what is real._

_I want to know everything, everything."_

There were so many layers of Jack. She could barely understand what was really him. She wanted him to talk to her. Not the other way round as usual. She wanted to know everything about him.

_"I don't want to fall to pieces._

_I just want to sit and stare at you._

_I don't want to talk about it._

_I don't want a conversation._

_I just want to cry in front of you._

_I don't want to talk about it._

_I don't want to fall to pieces._

_I just want to sit and stare at you._

_I don't want to talk about it._

_I don't want a conversation._

_I just want to cry in front of you._

_I don't want to talk about it._

_'Cause I'm in love with you."_

She sniffed. How could she tell him?

_"I'm in love with you._

_'Cause I'm in love with you."_

She didn't care if he couldn't hear her.

_"I'm in love with you."_

"I'm in love with you."

_"I'm in love with you."_

"I'm in love with you." He whispered.

**Author's Notes – **What do you think? Review. Press the 'go' button. That's it. Now write something nice. Thanks.


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